“Dinner is ready!” mom shouted from the kitchen.
Dad, daughter and son walked through the door.
They sat around the table, the table for four.
“Blood soup again?”
“Blood soup all the time!”
“Blood soup today.”
“Blood soup is all we've got, blood soup is all we have. By the blood soup we live, by the blood soup we die,” mom said.
The rest of the family looked down at their bowls, and clenched their jaws.
They began eating.
— Bastian Espada
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A priest, a rabbi and a giraffe enter a bar.
The bar moans.
— Bastian Espada
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“Last week I noticed a weird lump under my armpit.”
“That could be serious. Have you seen a doctor?” the young man's mother asked.
“I did, yeah.”
“And what did they say?”
“Hard to tell, they were on the other side of the street.”
— Bastian Espada
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“Who would've thought your kind would outlive mine?” The last man on earth smiled using what little energy he had left. “Don't worry boy, it'll only be for a little bit.”
He scratched the dog's head, then expired.
— Bastian Espada
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The five o'clock alarm rang.
The man dragged himself to the bathroom, he placed his hands on the counter and stared at the sink.
“You know, if a genie appeared before me and offered me a choice — to press a button that would make all things cease to exist — no space and no energy. No past, present nor future. No laws of nature, no fields and no particles. No universe, no multiverse, no quantumverse. No information, no entropy. Nothing, just nothing.” The man lifted his head and gazed into his own eyes. “I would press the shit out of that button.”
“I would as well,” the reflection said. “I would as well.”
— Bastian Espada
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“Daddy, where do people go after they die?”
“It depends sweetie.”
“On what?”
“Well, if people deserve to be rewarded, they go to heaven. If they deserve to be punished, they go to hell, and if they don't deserve to exist, they come here and hide.”
— Bastian Espada
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“May I have the time?”
“Sure,” the man said, then vanished.
— Bastian Espada
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“You don't have to go home but you can't stay here.”
The last remaining patron threw the bartender a dirty look. He made his way to the exit and pressed the big red button. The blast doors opened, he jumped into the vacuum of space.
— Bastian Espada
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“Welcome to earth's favorite talk show! I'm your host Orion Vega and tonight we have to amazing guests coming straight from the depths of time. Please put your hands together fooorrr... Lucy the Australopithecus and Genghis Khan!
The audience cheered.
Two portals opened in front of the couch situated next to the host's desk. The two guests emerged.
“Welcome! It's great having you here.” Orion motioned for them to take a seat. “Please.”
The guests ignored him —choosing to maintain direct eye contact among themselves.
They began circling each other.
Lucy threw a punch, Genghis Khan caught it with the palm of his hand.
“I see your Kung Fu is as weak as ever,” he said.
Lucy grunted.
The Khan smirked.
Orion hid behind his desk.
The battle was on.
— Bastian Espada
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“Your honor, members of the jury, please consider the following.” The lawyer took to the floor. “ We got 'evidence' and 'witnesses' and 'oaths' and all this fanfare. But allow me to ask you, is this really the best way to get to the bottom of this? Aren't we just guessing at the end of the day? Might there be a better way of resolving case like this? I would argue, there is. And if it pleases you all, I would very much like to demonstrate.”
The judge took measure of the lawyer, then pinched the bridge of his nose. “Fine, fine. I'll allow it. Go ahead, do your thing.”
The lawyer nodded in gratitude. From his suitcase he produced a vial of sheep's blood and a box filled with ashes of unknown provenance —both of which he proceeded to dump on the wooden floor. With this mixture he drew a large circle, and a number of arcane symbols within it.
He began chanting. The windows blew open, the lights flickered. The ethereal figure of a man emerged from the circle.
“Tell us! Who killed yo—”
No one saw the people present at the courthouse ever again.
— Bastian Espada
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